A Hard Lesson

For the first time, in what seems like NEVER, Hunter took the super-stubborn road.

Hunter and Ron were playing a game the other evening and Hunter started cheating. Ron called him on it and Hunter refused to say he was sorry, (I think mostly because he was embarrassed that he was caught.) So, Ron sent him to his room.

After awhile Ron went in to talk with Hunter and he still refused to apologize. Now it was my turn to have a chat but he still wouldn't budge. So I gave him 2 choices: I said, "You can do the right thing and say sorry to dad, or you can do the wrong thing and just stay in your room and go to bed." (It was close to his bed time and we were in danger of a major meltdown from Hunter if I forced the issue too hard.)

...He chose to go to bed. (WHAT?!)

Ron and I did not know what to do next. I had scriptures running through my head like "do not let the sun go down on your anger" so it was hard for me to let him make the wrong choice (for now) and leave it at that. Hunter has never dug in his heels like this before, but I just felt like forcing him to make the right choice at this moment would be an insincere, shallow gesture. And I know how I am when I'm tired and it's late at night - I always need a fresh perspective that the morning brings.

Ron and I discussed it and decided we'd hide away all of his new toys he had scattered around the house, that he just received for his 7th birthday a few days prior. We were determined to show him that bad choices had consequences - No yelling or threatening or forcing the issue. We would just wait to see what would happen in the morning...

I was the lucky one who woke first and faced Hunter. Of course, he immediately asked where all of his toys were. I explained that we hid them away and he was not allowed to play with them again unless he apologized to dad.

Hunter immediately became angry. With his eyes tearing up he stomped into his room and slammed the door, but not before poking his head out and shouting, "You're breaking my heart!"

Can you say backfire? This is not how things were supposed to go. Hunter and I both continued to verbally spar (as I force myself to speak in a completely calm and matter-if-fact tone) for the next hour or so. We both held our ground as we waited for Ron - who I was trying to let sleep in - to get up and resolve this mess....

Finally, Ron appeared about 45 minutes later - probably because there was lots of loud talking and door banging from Hunter - so I filled him in on the details of the morning.

Ron grabbed paper and pen and headed into Hunter's room. I didn't catch everything Ron discussed with Hunter, but Ron talked about a circle of "good" and how every time we make a bad decision it takes up space in the circle. Pretty soon the circle is filled up with so much bad that there is no longer any room for the good. There was more discussion between the two that I didn't hear, but before long I heard an apology. Ron came out of Hunter's room and began to fetch the hidden-away toys. Then Hunter appeared in front of me and also offered me a heart-felt apology for being so mean to me.

Before long - like within minutes - Hunter was bright and perky and compliant. I wish I could bounce back so easily from wounded pride!

Did we ultimately do the right thing as parents? Is the whole thing resolved because Ron and I got what we wanted out of Hunter or was a valuable lesson really learned? I can only say it was a hard lesson for ALL us.

Pinewood Derby - Year One

Hunter participated in his first Boy Scout Pinewood Derby today.

He and Ron have been working on it together for the past couple of weeks. Hunter designed the car based on his own concept drawings:

The finished car, before the wheels are placed.

Dad is carefully adding the wheels

The finished car!

Derby Day - the cars are set. Hunter's is the one with the blue hood (second farthest from the front of the camera)

Waiting for the race to start

The final times. There were some tears, as Hunter came in last place. There was some wheel drag, so his car was the slowest. But...

He did get an award for BEST PAINT JOB!

It was tough to learn to lose. But he was happy in the end :)

What Becomes the New Year?

Here we are in 2012...

I post this image (taken by my brother-in-law, Dennis) to project the kind of feeling I hope to evoke for a beginning to 2012.

Resolutions?
No deliberate resolutions set for the new year, just a continuation of those things I've been working on for quite some time:

1. HEALTH
I'm getting progressively better since last May, when I first visited my homeopathic doctor in Montana (who is now relocated to Santa Cruz since last September). My goal is to eventually get off my anti-depressant meds--maybe this year?!

I am now a homeopathic FIEND. I have become a student of homeopathics and I'm learning to use remedies at home--devouring books on the subject and drilling my doc with questions every time we talk. My patients include my son, husband and CATS. I successfully cured my one cat, Mocha, of her life-long skin conditions and I am currently treating my other cat for hyperthyroidism and she's doing very well. Homeopathy also worked on Hunter's night terrors and sniffles. I used it to cure a family member of diarrhea in 1 day what the doctors couldn't do in 9 days. Every time Ron has some kind of ailment I run to my reference books and come back to him with my little tube of pellets. He usually gets this "oh great, here we go again" look on his face when I hand him a remedy. I'm still trying to make a believer out of him...

I can't even BEGIN to talk about the amazing, cheap, safe, curative powers of homeopathy!!!
(Wanna know more??? Click here to read a free online booklet about an overview of homeopathy.)


2. FAMILY
I am usually referring to my little 3-person family unit when this is on my list. It is THE most important thing to me and my thoughts are constantly filled with "Is this best for us?" kind of things.

As Hunter gets older, our daily life gets busier. Here's a snapshot of a typical week (not forgetting both Ron and I working all day, Hunter is in school and daycare, and then homework, chores, meals and such):
    
     >  Monday: Cub Scouts (and Ron has reluctantly taken on the role of den leader)
     >  Tuesday: Taekwondo
     >  Wednesday: Bible study group
     >  Thursday: Taekwondo
     >  Friday: Family night or date night
     >  Saturday: House project, road trip or kid event
     >  Sunday: church, laundry and catch-up day

Whew!

So I apologize in advance to everyone else that I may not call, or write or visit enough (yes, that probably means you, friends and relatives). And to everything else I may not tend to enough (my plants and pets come to mind) or use enough (like my tread mill or oven). I just realized these two things--health and family--take up most of my time, so currently these are the only two (barely) manageable goals I'm going to keep working on in 2012. Here's wishing for the best!

Thanksgiving

Our thanksgiving was hosted at our house and we had many days filled with activities:

The table was set...

 (Then we all ate ourselves silly. But I'll leave that unattractive part out.)

Angry Birds was played...

Gingerbread houses were made (thanks grandmas!)...

and eaten...

Hideouts were made with the leftover freezer box...

played with the new Xbox...

...took a walk...

...to the park.

There was football watching (Yay, Cowboys!), a "Muppet Movie" viewing, several games of Uno, and many trips back to the fridge for leftovers in there as well. It was a busy and fun-filled holiday :)

Hunter's 1st Cub Scouts Badge

Hunter, along with 5 other boys in his den, received his Bobcat badge.

The presentation

Ron pinning it on Hunter's uniform

The proud scout

Showing off his ceremonial face markings.